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February 23, 2003

my computer is dying... [brief moment of silence] and i can't figure out how to fix the template of my blog. arrgghh! cam if you're reading this... i'm almost done fixing the pictures we did yesterday. thank you!! i had so much fun yesterday although we basically sat around and ogled pictures all day *wink*. i'm posting those tests up too. can you send me the codes? well if not i can look for it.. i'll just impersonate you ;)
i'm off to get the shirt now. bye!

broke another heart at 12:21    




February 22, 2003

Wonderful
(everclear)

"Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't it wonderful now?"

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

broke another heart at 18:25    






fury..... furY..... fuRY..... fURY.....FURY......
c o n s u m i n g c o n s u m i n g c o n s u m i n g
ME

broke another heart at 18:16    




February 20, 2003

i lost my soul today
i used it to pay my way
into oblivion
away from the pain
of breathing,
never to live again.

can you hear me?

broke another heart at 23:35    




February 18, 2003

Basket Case
(green day)

Do you have the time
to listen to me whine
About NOTHING and EVERYTHING
all at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED

I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
SHE says it's lack of sex
that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
HE said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
it's bringing HER down

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Uh,yuh,yuh,ya

Grasping to CONTROL
So I BETTER hold on

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED

Do you have the time
to listen to me whine
About NOTHING and EVERYTHING
all at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED

I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
SHE says it's lack of sex
that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
HE said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
it's bringing HER down

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Uh,yuh,yuh,ya

Grasping to CONTROL
So I BETTER hold on

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED

broke another heart at 19:09    






February 18 2003
Tuesday
Mood: happy?

The Past:
Sheesh life’s been busy. Okay, let’s start from Saturday. The whole of Saturday was devoted to my site. I didn’t sleep until 1pm on Sunday fixing it. Now I have a problem with Brinkster because it’s dishing me some crap about bandwidth. I keep exceeding it. That’s a good thing by the way. But still. So my mom wakes me up around 5 in the afternoon on Sunday to go to a wake. After the wake we ate out and had this huge feast. Wow you can't imagine. Anyway so I get home at around 11 and just crash because I have school the next day. Monday night, after a sleepy but okay day in school, I head over to a party for my aunt from Spain. We got real close last July when we met her in Madrid and we went out a few times. She’s really nice. After, we head over to my mom’s friends house since she’s flying back to New York at 7 in the morning. This was at around 11 in the evening. We finally get back home at around 1 in the morning. Man, I’m sleepy.

The present:
I slept through Algebra, Social Science and Filipino. He he. I slept through 3 subjects straight. Aaah. Feels so good. *stretch*. Sir Gary cancelled our meeting again today. I’m in lights and sounds for the candlelight ceremony. I mean, it’s in 3 days and we totally have no idea about anything. No one has a clue about what we’re going to do or how it’s going to be. Oh well, never mind. During IW, Mia was like, “why are you so happy all the time again?” Isn’t that a good thing? So I had a brief battle with depression, big deal? She was like, “You sucked all my happy juices from me.” I don’t get it. Does she want me to be depressed and angry all the time? You know what, forget it. It’s not my problem.

My CL reflection for the day:
Waking up every morning isn’t easy. There are so many things to accomplish, endure and overcome. Life is a headache and there isn’t enough aspirin in the world that can make it go away. Every day is a trial with burdens and obstacles. Sometimes I feel like I just can’t take it anymore. I just want to give up and never leave my bed again. Whenever I feel like I simply can’t go on I offer the hardships, burdens and obstacles to Him so that He can help. I offer that killer Algebra test, the friend that bugs me, and all those IW’s I have to finish. When offered to God all these things don’t seem so impossible. My problems are in God’s hands now. There are no better hands that can handle them. I lose the nervous twitch, the pain in my neck and the frown on my face. Life is better. I am awake once again.

The Future:
My aunt just called. We have a party again tonight for some family friends from Spain who just arrived too. Is everybody from Spain coming over this week? I met them in Barcelona. One of these days I’m going to have to make kuwento about all that happened to us on that trip. soul exchange 2 is coming up... ahh memories of the past... i'm off *poof*

broke another heart at 18:50    




February 16, 2003

Head Over Feet
(alanis morissette, jagged little pill)
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
Chorus
You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service
Repeat Chorus
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now
Repeat Chorus

broke another heart at 00:56    




February 14, 2003

FEB 14 2003
friday
mood: tired
song: What Can I Do? (the corrs)

I haven't slept in days. i didn't sleep at all last night editing my website and doing those 4 iw cards. seriously, i finished the website at around 6am then i started on my iws. by the time i finished cl it was time to go to school. i've been catching zzz's in between classes and stuff but that's it you know what, i don't care anymore. anyway, it's valentine's day. it's my grandmother's death anniversary. for everyone else it's a day for couples. for me, it's my grandmother's death anniversary. oh well. gotta go. i'm kinda in a rush there's a party.

What Can I Do?
(the corrs, talk on corners)
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we have talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

(Chorus)

What can I Do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
There's only so much I can take
And I've just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

(Chorus)

No more waiting, no more aching
No more fighting, no more trying...

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly...
(Chorus)
Love me...

i'm back. it's past midnight. the party was fun. goooooood food. my god. i ate my heart out. anyway, back to what happened this afternoon. the meeting d'avance (did i spell that right?) was this afternoon. rina's running for assistang sec, good for her. i hope she wins. it was actually fun. me, rica, alexa, mia and pia stayed way out in the back then in the swings. this cute little boy with an almost-mohawk came by and we were going crazy. we were stalked him down the covered walk and the poor boy looked so confused. lol. so cute. we were dancing to the music. everyone was so freakin' dead it wasn't even funny. oh and i saw someone from my childhood and man, he's changed. he lost so much weight! i heard it's because of the big E. anyway, it was kinda good to see him again although i avoided meeting him. went shopping after school. there's this adorable shirt in top shop. hmm...

broke another heart at 19:42    




February 13, 2003

FEB 13 2003
thursday
mood: ExCiTeD!!!
whee! i'm finally home. i've been DYING of excitement. i've been like this all day, ask everyone. i am so in love with my site right now. it's my baby. it's almost done. the minute i got home i went straight to my laptop and went online. jeez. what a loser. hehe. i don't care. i've been advertising my site all day and bugging people to give me their prom pics.
oh yeah, our prom pics came out today. the company doing our prom pics sux big time. first of all, they charge us exorbitant amounts. secondly, they don't even have the decency to cut the pictures for us. i'm serious. we have to cut the wallet size pics ourselves! and to top it all, erika, kring, and the other good samaritans out there have to sort out each and every single persons prom pics and put them into separate bags. i didn't get all the pictures i ordered and besides that one of my pictures is of a completely different person! anyway, at least we had a lot of laughs about it.
so anyway, i come home right? and guess who calls me... clue: looks like a caterpillar and makes out like a rabbit. you know who i'm talking about. so i'm like, "hello" and i hear breathing on the other end. okay. i'm like, "hello???" no answer. i hang up. freaky. he calls back and this time he hangs up. riiighht. i text rica about it and she's like maybe he's jacking off. eew. gross! i feel violated. he calls back 3 MORE TIMES!!!. God save me!

please visit my site:

roaring tiger

broke another heart at 19:16    





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